Idaho Guy

Idaho guy! How did I forget about Idaho guy!? I met him sometime after my dates with the firefighter and military police.

Nate contacted me in November via Myspace. You think by now I would have learned my lesson, but no.  Apparently the third time's the charm. Nate was a 24-year-old electrical engineer and I was 21 and still in college. He was originally from Idaho, but apparently the potato state doesn't hire many engineers, so this is where he landed.

Nate sounded like the classic gentleman, which he attributed to his parents.  He told me that his dad gets his mother a gift every day, which could be as small as a daisy from their backyard or as big as a brand new car.  They also have a standing lunch date every Friday that they never miss.  His parents sounded kind of sappy to me, but you can't deny that it's sweet- even if it's sickeningly sweet. With a model like this, it's no wonder that Nate believed in spoiling a girl and making her feel like a princess. (Where do I sign up?) He even went to the extreme of already researching diamonds, so his future fiancé would have the most beautiful engagement ring possible. I believe he said the best cut was called "Hearts on Fire," just in case you were curious. ;)

I had only talked to Nate via messages online. Before we spoke on the phone or met in person, he already sent flowers to my work! It was kind of awkward because it came with a "Happy Birthday" mini-balloon when my birthday was 5 months ago.  Another time he left me a basket of candy canes, hot chocolate mix, and peppermint extract at my front door.  Everything was really nice, the flowers, the gifts, but it made me kind of uncomfortable. He hadn't even met me and he was already spending a lot of time, money, and effort trying to impress me.  I felt like it was a bit too much too fast.  Even the girls at school were questioning Idaho guy's intentions. It was a case of romantic vs. creepy, but which one was it?

Just as expected, he put a lot of effort into our first date also. First of all, he was fairly new to the area and hadn't moved his car out here, so he rented one to pick me up. Every time he had to leave his city he had to rent a car, which meant he also rented one to drop off that candy cane/hot chocolate basket.  Secondly, when I answered the door he handed me a beautiful bouquet of gerber daisies.   Lastly, he did his homework.  He researched nice restaurants in my area and made a reservation.  He clearly put a lot of energy into making this date special and I took notice.  Unfortunately, by the end of the night I still wasn't attracted to him and I didn't feel much of a spark.  He was a nice guy and a complete gentleman.  As we walked back to the car, he put his coat around me to make sure I was warm.  He opened doors for me and the car door too.  I couldn't say anything bad about Nate.  I wanted to like him!  Maybe if we went out again, things would feel different.  Better.

I was flattered and a little nervous when he asked me to be his date to his company's Christmas party. A party full of engineers? Sounds like it could be horrible.  If you know anything about engineers, you know that they're socially awkward/inept/stunted. Even other engineers will tell you that. I had fantasies of conversations involving math equations, requiring me to drink a lot, which would eventually lead to me dancing on tables. In anticipation, I set up an exit strategy that involved being rescued by a friend and driven home.  As you can see, I didn't have high expectations for the party, plus I was really nervous about what seemed to be an awfully formal second date with Nate.

Once I agreed to go to his Christmas party, Nate insisted on taking me out dress and shoe shopping.  Maybe most girls would love that, at least that's what they say in all these hip-hop songs.  Not me.  I didn't want to try on dresses for him. I told Nate that I could afford my own outfit, but he maintained that it was his party and I was his date so he would treat. 

So, like the sneaky person I am, I took my mom and sister out dress shopping on the down-low. After a looooong day of trying on a variety of dresses at numerous stores, I found a cute black lace cocktail dress. A week or two later I bought a pair of adorable heels that had bows on the back! Score! I'd be the hottest date at the party and I could skip my mall date with Nate. When he mentioned taking me out shopping I told him the great news- my outfit was already complete!

"You're making this really hard for me!" he joked. "I want to get you something... I guess I'll just have to buy you some jewelry to go with your dress. Maybe a nice necklace and some earrings. Do you like gold or silver?" Wow. Again, maybe most girls would love it if a random guy offered to buy her clothes and jewelry, but I felt uneasy.  I felt like I was kind of being treated like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman except I'm not a poor prostitute and we're not exchanging gifts for sex... unless that's his plan.  I felt uneasy again.

"Oh, don't buy me any jewelry, really, I have sensitive skin. I'm allergic to a bunch of metals," I told him, hoping this would deter him.

"Platinum is hypoallergenic. I'll just get you a platinum necklace and earrings," he stated.  HOLY SHIT, I just got upgraded from a dress and shoes to platinum jewelry?!?! This is insane! Okay, you win, Nate.  I'll take it!  Hey, I'm only human.

Again, the girls at school were asking about Idaho guy. "What did he get you now?" they wondered. Well, he wanted to buy me a dress and shoes for his company Christmas party, but I felt weird about trying on clothes for him, so I bought my own. Now he's going to buy me platinum jewelry instead.

"What?! You better watch out! Idaho guy's got something up his sleeve," they warned. "I bet he wants to get in your pants," they said.  Hey, just because someone wants to sleep with me, doesn't mean they'll get to.  I wasn't worried.

It was now the day before the company party. I had my black dress, sexy shoes, I tanned my legs, sent the hotel my menu selections, practiced my smokey eye makeup, and I even found a nice coat too. I spent a good chunk of money and a considerable amount of time shopping so I would look nice for this party. I wanted to impress everyone at the party, that an engineer could have a date this cute.  He messaged me that evening to talk about the party.

"There's going to be wine there," he wrote, "and I don't want to risk driving you home if I've had too much. Would you mind staying over my place and I'll drive you home in the morning?"

"Actually, I'd prefer to sleep in my own bed," I replied. Aha! The girls were right! Idaho guy was trying to sleep with me! Well, at least we crossed this bridge now rather than tomorrow night.  Now I could relax and enjoy the party without worrying about him putting the moves on me.

It's now the day of the party.  I'm nervous big time.  It starts at 6pm so I'm thinking he's going to pick me up at five-ish. So I start getting ready at three, to give me plenty of time to get all beautified.  Well 5pm rolls around and I'm all fixed up and ready to go.  I'm looking pretty cute and feeling good about it.  I'm sitting at the computer killing time, trying to get the butterflies out of my stomach. An hour goes by, it's now six and no Nate.  I'm worried. What happened?  Are we just going to be fashionably late?

Suddenly I get an e-mail that reads, "Something's happened.  I'm in the hospital.   Don't be worried, I'll call you tomorrow." Sigh. I'm not worried.  I'm kind of ticked.  My friend online comments that he can't believe I got stood up. Oh well.  I slowly change out of my dress and wipe off my makeup, but not before I snap a picture of the finished product.  Hey, I worked hard to look this good!

The next day comes and goes without a call from Nate. In fact, I don't hear from him for another two or three days.  And when I did it was online. I waited to hear what happened. If he told me his grandma died, I was going to slap myself. He didn't. His excuse was worse.

"As usual, I waited too long to go to the doctor..." he started. "I had a really really bad case of Strep throat so they admitted me into the hospital."

That's your excuse?  Strep throat?

This has got to be a joke. People have surgery and go home the same day and you're telling me that you were in the hospital for three days for Strep? I've had a bad case of Strep throat. My doctor said it was the worst she had ever seen. In fact, she was even impressed by it. What did she do?  Sent me home with antibiotics.  I talked to you on the phone.  You sounded fine.  You wanted to drink wine at the party.  With a "bad case of strep" it hurts to eat and drink and you may be hoarse or lose your voice entirely.  You did not have strep throat.  I couldn't believe that he was trying to sell me this BS. 

I bet this was because I wouldn't stay the night. I'm 99% sure of it. He found out I wasn't going to sleep with him so he went with someone else who would.  I was pissed.  All of that time, effort, and money I spent prepping for a party that I didn't attend, for a guy I didn't like, just to have him stand me up last minute and tell me an obvious lie.  It was actually offensive.

Immediately after he uttered the words "Strep throat," I told him I never wanted to hear from him again.  He acted shocked.  He even asked if I was serious.  Uh, yeah. I was.

He actually did contact me again a month or so later.  Said he saw a TV show that reminded him of me.  Terrific.  Bye now.

The good news is, I was able to use everything I had purchased for my own company party- where the people were fun and I actually liked my date.  Besides, every girl needs a little black dress.