The Liar

His name was Chris, and he had just joined the dating site and was doing some browsing when he stumbled upon my profile. We had so many things in common that he couldn't resist sending me a message. "It seems like we're in the same place in life and looking for the same things," he wrote me.

So I took a quick look at his profile and I didn't notice any immediate deal breakers. I read about him and he seemed like a pretty decent guy. Definitely good on paper.  Then I scrolled down and read that his political views are conservative. Hm... I'm fairly liberal, and having relatives that are conservative and ultraconservative, I know I'd prefer someone who shared similar views.  I wrote him back agreeing that we do have a lot in common, but we may not get along because of our differing political viewpoints.

Chris wrote back saying that he votes Republican primarily for business-related issues, but that he's pretty open-minded when it comes to social aspects. "Are you worried that our votes would cancel each other out?" he joked. "Don't count me out just because I voted for McCain in the last election.  Besides, Republicans have been sorely disappointing me lately." 

Maybe the political viewpoint thing is kind of stupid.  Especially if what he says about his views on social issues is true. Alright, I won't count him out just yet.

So we get to talking and I find out some interesting things about him.  He originally wanted to be a cop but I guess he got scared off when he did his first ride along (kinda funny). Then he found a happy medium as a fraud investigator. Fighting bad guys from behind a computer screen! How sexy! ;) He loves to cook and would like to open a restaurant when he retires.  So the guy's got a good job, he's educated, he can cook, he's attractive, and he has long term goals... He sounded pretty good, so when he asked for my phone number I gave it to him. That's when things got interesting.

He calls me up one evening after work wanting to schedule an evening to take me out to dinner. "Unless you think it's going to be awful and you'd rather go out for a drink instead.  That way you can get out of there real fast!" he said. 

"Honestly, I think I'd rather our first date be a lunch date if that's alright," I suggested.

"Wow. You do wanna get outta there fast," he commented. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say to that. This kind of put me on the defensive, like I'm supposed to justify why I rather have lunch than dinner.

"Well, I feel like a lunch date is a bit more casual. A dinner date feels more formal and intimate to me.  And since it's a first date and we don't really know each other, I'd be more comfortable going out to lunch instead... Or we could grab a smoothie or something if that's better..." I waited for his response, not really knowing what to expect.

"We can have lunch," he said. "What days this week are good for you?"

"Actually, I'm busy this week. Next week would be better for me," I stated.

"It's Tuesday..." he noted. Yeah? So?

"...Don't you only work three days a week? How are you busy?" he quizzed.

Again, I felt like he was trying to imply something. I felt like I needed to defend myself. As if I was some sort of liar. Why the heck is he having me justify everything I say? What's wrong with this guy? Maybe I AM being truthful when I say I rather have lunch.  Maybe it's not about having a quick exit.  Maybe I AM busy this week.  Maybe it's not about blowing you off.  I don't know if it's just me, but I always assume a person is telling the truth unless they give me a reason to believe otherwise.  Chris seems to be the opposite.  Is it the fraud investigator in him?  Does he think I'm a fraud? 

"Well, Wednesday is my dad's birthday. I have plans on Thursday. Friday's my grandma's birthday and I work this weekend," I answered.

"Two birthdays in the same week??" he questioned.

"Yes," I said firmly.

His response: "I guess that sounds like an honest answer. What days next week work for you?"

What the hell? I'm officially offended.  Now I don't even want to go on this date anymore!

After I get off the phone my sister asks about our conversation.  I tell her all about it.

She thinks he's insecure and doesn't have much self-esteem. "That's too bad," she said, "he looked cute."

"I'm going out to lunch with him next Tuesday," I stated.

"What?! Why?!" she blurted.

"Well, he kept acting like I was a liar. Now I feel obligated to eat lunch with him just to prove I wasn't lying!" I explained.  Basically it was a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.  I can go out with him just to show him that I was being honest or I can blow him off, which makes me out to be the liar he thought I was. Sigh. I probably should have blown him off, but for some reason it was really important to me to prove that I was an honest and sincere person.  So I ended up meeting him for lunch... which was really boring. We asked each other questions and I told funny stories about my life or my friends or work and he'd respond with, "Wow, I wish I had interesting stories to tell," or "That makes me sound really boring," which made him seem even more boring.

Ironically enough, at the end of the date it was he who was reassuring me.  Not like I cared.   I only showed up to prove a point.  He kept telling me that he would call me, that he would contact me, and that he better not get a pre-made reject letter (hahaha).  He never did contact me though, which I guess makes him the liar of this story.  Trust me when I say I wasn't broken-hearted.

That evening I met up with some people from work. We were talking about dating and I mentioned that I just got back from a date- hence how sexy I looked.  They asked about my date and I told them about the phone conversation.

"Oh, tell about the time the guy tried to pay with gift cards at the movies, but it was for the wrong theater!" my friend added. Everyone laughed. That's when several of them told me that I should write a blog about all of my bad dates. I thought they were joking, but turns out they were serious.  I guess everyone wants to live vicariously through me!  Which is a pretty sweet deal when you look at it- getting to read about my bad dates instead of having to live them.

Like I said, I originally joined the site just so I'd have something to do, meet new people, and see what's out there. Not necessarily to meet my next boyfriend or Mr. Right. This experience was supposed to be "good for me." But once I started going on some of these dates, I found this post-breakup dating adventure to be more discouraging than anything else. You can see why.

However, since I started writing this blog, it's actually made this dating experience pretty fun. In fact, I even look forward to my next bad date!

This date with Chris has been the last one I've gone on, so if I go out with any other "interesting" guys, you'll be sure to hear about it.

And that's no lie.