Clueless

Sometimes I have a hard time sending rejects. What happens if the only problem is that I'm just not attracted to him? There's a pre-made reject letter for that- "Thank you, but unfortunately we're not a good match due to: physical attraction," but I'd never have the heart to send that.  I like to be honest, but that's just cruel and unnecessary.

When Raj sent me a wink, I knew by looking at his photo that he wasn't for me.  I'm going to be honest here- typically I'm attracted to white guys.  Of course there are always exceptions- I've had a Persian boyfriend and another boyfriend who was half black, but generally speaking I'm white and I find white guys more attractive.  

Obviously, I'm not going to write Raj saying, "Sorry, I don't care for Indian men."  My profile already indicates that I prefer caucasian men.  Besides, Raj is 10 years older (35).  My profile says I'm looking for men between 25-30.  Ten years is too big of a gap.  I feel a little yucky just thinking about it.  So I respond to Raj with the, "Thanks, but unfortunately we're not a good match because of: age."

The next day Raj replies with, and I quote, "You said the issue was age. I know you are younger than me but should get to know to see if you're mature for me. Maturity level of my soulmate is more important to me than age. Does that sound good?"

First of all, that doesn't make sense. Proof read, people, proof read! Especially when you're trying to convince me to go on a date.  Anyway, I'm not concerned that I'm too young or immature for him, I'm stating that he's too old for me.

I wrote back, "Hello, Raj. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I did not say we weren't a match because of what I think you'd want or like.  I said we weren't a match because of what I'd want and like. Take care and thanks for your interest!"

Again, the next day Raj responded. "Hey Alicia, Thanks for clearing that up. I agree you are feisty. I have a PhD and it takes time to get done. So I will not defend my age because I love where I'm at in life. Are you thinking I am going to die early or before you if we were to marry? Usually guys do even if they are the same age as the girl. Raj."

What???? hahahaha What is he talking about? This is like word vomit in an email.  

Yes... That's exactly why I'm not interested... Because you're going to die on me.  This has nothing to do with your current age, that we're probably in different places in life, that we may find it hard to relate to each other, or the fact that I'm young and want to date someone my own age. I'm thinking about you leaving me a widow 50-60 years from now. Quite frankly, I've computed the numbers and I'm concerned about your life expectancy.  Then again, you make a valid point. You'll probably kick the bucket before I do anyway. I'm comforted that you're virtually guaranteed to die before me regardless of our age difference. So now that you clarified this death thing, I am totally interested in you!

Sigh. Raj- for someone who's in graduate school, you sure are clueless.