T.M.I.

I don't know if it's a new line or what, but if one more guy tells me he's "a very sexual person," I think I'm going to vomit.

I don't know what they're thinking... well actually, I do. They're thinking about sex.  But what makes them think it's appropriate?  I can't think of a single situation where it's necessary to share that, so please don't. It just makes you seem creepy for bringing it up. And it makes me wonder: Should I have brought my pepper spray?

I've encountered this statement several times recently and each time I become more dumbfounded. Why is he telling me this?

Here are my theories:

a) They want me to know that they like to have sex.

Well no shit, Sherlock. I think it's safe to say that 99% of men like sex. We know that already. Did you think it was a secret?

b) They want me to know that they masturbate a lot.

I hope that's not the reason.

c) They're a sex addict.

Well that would explain why they felt compelled to tell me that.  It's a warning! "I'm a very sexual person" isn't just a line- it's a disease! (Side note: did you know a nymphomaniac is a woman and a satyriasis is a man?)

d) They want to have sex with me.

Maybe they're looking for some kind of reaction or response. Something that tells them they're probably getting laid. Or something that gives them the green light to put the moves on me. Or maybe it's like a disclaimer: I'm very sexual so don't hold my actions against me.

Those are my theories, but I don't need to know about your sex life on the first date.  This could be our last one, in which case, I don't care how sexual you are!  Is it really that important that we need to discuss it right away?  Right now I'm trying to figure out if I even want to see you again, maybe even kiss you, but not if I want to sleep with you.

Not only am I confused because I don't know why they're bringing it up in the first place, I'm also confused because I don't know how to respond. What do they want me to say?  At least one of us should know that this topic is weird and clearly it has to be me. Maybe this is normal date discussion if you're easy.  To the rest of us, it's probably a red flag.

One guy told me that he's a very sexual person and then sat there staring at me, waiting for a response. Obviously, "okay" wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to say to that. "I'm happy for you?" Maybe he was looking for, "Thank God! Now take off your pants!"

The second time it came out of nowhere. The guy was talking about how he wished his last girlfriend was more interested in personal growth and self-improvement. When I asked for an example as to how he thought she should grow, he said, "Well, I'm a very sexual person. I'm excited to try new things, new positions... if you want to say something racist, then say something racist!" ...Wait, what are we talking about? Personal growth, sex, or racial slurs? I'm confused and a little disturbed.

Anyway, let me get back to the statement itself: I'm a very sexual person. If you're on a dating site, then hopefully you're paying for more than just a casual fling. Hopefully you're looking for a lasting relationship. This statement immediately casts you in a different light. Instead of a woman thinking- this is a guy looking for someone special, she thinks- this is a guy looking for sex. Why else would he bring it up? Immediately she's turned-off, which is ironic if it was meant to be a turn-on. Congratulations gentlemen, you have just lost some points and our creep meter has moved from green to yellow.

Sex is an important part of a relationship. I think most people can agree upon that. But if this is an attempt to see if someone's a sexual match, it's a bad one.  You won't know for sure until you do the deed and that will happen if/when the time is right.  When is a good time to talk about sex?  When it's heading in that direction.  If you bring it up too early, chances are it's not going to happen because you've either made me uncomfortable or now I think you're a man-whore. So do me a favor and keep it to yourself. I'll assume you enjoy sex, would like to have it often, and in a variety of ways. You can assume I already know that.  And we can both go on and enjoy our date.  Anything else is just TMI.