Too Dumb

I don't sign on to my account every day. I often wait for messages and winks to build up over time before I log on and respond.  I logged on one day and saw a message that read, "I guess you lost interest.  That's too bad, because I was looking forward to meeting you."

"Oh crap!" I thought, "Maybe I should log on more often. He thought I was blowing him off!" As I began to write my response apologizing for my delay, I glanced at our message history. Turns out I wrote him back a week ago and he never responded until now, asking if I had lost interest.  What the heck?  Stupid.  I respond with, "I didn't lose interest. I replied to your message a week ago and you never responded. Take a look at the message history below."

He never wrote back.

Another time, a 31-year-old cop sent me a wink. I winked him back.  Then he wrote me a message.  I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something simple like, "Hey, how's it going?" The next message he sent was also simple. "Hope you had a good weekend." Tired of these one-liners, I tried to give a more detailed response hoping to spark more of a dialogue.

"My weekend was busy but fun-filled! Friday my sister's boyfriend was competing in Battle of the Bands so the family and I went to watch him play and support him. His band won! Saturday I went out to dinner and a movie with a friend. We saw 2012.  And Sunday I went to a coworker's baby shower.  Did you do anything fun over the weekend?  You seem to be a man of few words, hopefully you'll write back with more than just a sentence this time! ;)"

He didn't respond.

Lastly, after Halloween I decided to post some costume pictures on the site.  On Halloween I went out with my friend to a bar and we got all dressed up and took some cute photos.  I posted up a photo of me in my old west sheriff costume as well as a group photo: me= sheriff, my friend= devil, and her sister-in-law= 80's girl.

Well this guy writes me a message in which he asks me if I like country western music. "I saw your cowgirl outfit. Have you gone to many country western concerts? When did you get dressed up like that?" Come on! I'm standing next to a devil and an 80's girl.  It had to be Halloween.  

I wrote him back with, "Actually, I don't like country music, with the exception of a few songs, so I've never been to a country concert. Haha I'll give you a hint, the last time I dressed up like that was exactly one week ago..."

That was the last I heard from him.

No biggie, they were too dumb for me anyway.

The Jerk- Part 2

You knew there had to be another one, right? This guy went a little overboard.  He winked, messaged, and sent me a phone number request all at once.  As usual, I took a look at his profile before responding but immediately knew he wasn't for me.  I sent him a polite "Thanks, but unfortunately we're not a good match" to his message, and declined his phone request.

The next day he sent me another message, "Sexy how are ya?" which had me wondering- is that even a sentence??

Maybe he didn't know that I already rejected him three times the day before, but he must've figured it out because five minutes later he sent me this: "I am trying to give you ugly girl credit but you sux." Oh dear. I think I'm going to cry.  Not because he called me ugly, but because he wrote "sux."

Why would you join a dating site if you can't handle rejection? Clearly, not everyone registered is going to be interested in you. If it were that easy, there wouldn't be a site to begin with.  Perhaps you'd have more luck if your photos didn't look like mug shots. There's this thing called smiling and girls like it.   Also, try acting your age and not your shoe size.  Calling me "ugly" because I politely declined your advances doesn't make me regret my decision.  If you can't take rejection, maybe you should try a strip club.  All you need is a wallet full of singles and all the girls will like you.  Unfortunately for you, this is the real world and I'm not going to pretend to be interested.  I didn't pay $100 to waste my time and neither did you. Welcome to the dating world.  It's not all rainbows and unicorns.  Oh, and by the way, your English sux.

Is the Economy *that* Bad or Just You?

On Monday I went out with an ultrasound tech.  He asked me out for a drink or meal. I suggested Jamba Juice on a hot summer day. We met there and after reading the menu, I turned to him and said, "Well, I know what I want whenever you're ready."

"Okay," he said, "You buy yours first."

Sigh.  Not again.  Bad sign. You ask me out on a date, but you don't want to treat?  This date might as well be over. 

I ordered my drink and the cashier asked if that would be all. "Yes," I said, "Just that." As I reached for my wallet, she asked Trent for his order.

"That'll be $8" she read. Clearly she combined the two orders (I'm glad someone knew that he should pay). Confused about what to do, I grabbed some cash and looked up to see him hand her a debit card.  Before I had time to think, Oh thank God, I just misunderstood him, Trent looked at me, sighed, shrugged his shoulders and uttered, "Oh well."

Was that necessary? If you didn't look cheap before, you certainly do now. You should've just played it off, like you were going to pay all along or like it was no big deal.  Because buying me a $4 drink isn't.  That's why you should've done it in the first place.

We walked outside and sat at a table. I think we talked for a little over an hour. It wasn't that good. The problem was that he spoke like he didn't care about anything- like he was completely disinterested with any and all topics of conversation.  There was no emotion in his voice so I couldn't tell if the date was going well or not.   Does he like me?  Doesn't he?  I had no idea, but I didn't really care.  It was a "no" the moment he told me to buy my own smoothie.  As the date ended and we walked back to our cars, I gave him a hug and thanked him for the Jamba Juice.

"Well, I was kinda forced into it," he replied.

Oh my gosh.  Now that I think about it, I'm not that surprised at his off-color comment.  He told me during a phone call that he came out of his shell about a year and a half ago and he's just learning how to talk to girls (he's 25 mind you).  Well it's safe to say he has more to learn.  Am I old fashioned to think a guy should pay when he asks a girl out on a date?  If he can't afford a smoothie, then he has bigger problems than finding a girlfriend and he shouln't be spending $100 to join a dating site.

The next evening as I was leaving work, I noticed that he sent me a text message: So, do you think there'll be a second date?

No! This guy is cheapskate. And if it's this obvious now, then I can't imagine what a relationship would be like with him. I know someone who had to purchase their own wedding ring because their husband was too cheap to buy one. That's sad but I bet that's exactly how Trent would be.  How much do you want to bet that not paying for the first date is just the tip of the iceberg?

Some guys will argue that they only won't pay for the first date. Their rationale is that it's too soon to be sure she's worth the money. I find that offensive.  You ask us out on a date, and while we determine that you're worth the time, you're not so sure we're worth the money.  Then why are you taking us out?  Perhaps the first date should be free then- like a trip to the beach.  Then you save yourself money and we won't think you're a douchebag.

Anyway, back to Trent. At the advice of my friend, I replied to Trent's text about a second date saying, "I don't know, you seemed pretty upset about having to pay for my Jamba Juice." This way, if he had a legitimate reason for not wanting to pay, he could vindicate himself.

Alas, this was not the case. He texted me back saying, LMAO! Only if you didn't say thank you. Then I would have called it off. I didn't care about that because it was her bad (the cashier). Plus it was 4 bucks. Phhh. It would be totally different if it was the first date and dinner.

I'm pretty sure he's speaking chicken right now, because all I hear is CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP. 

If the bill was something bigger than it was, I wouldn't have paid full for it. So everything was A-okay. I know you thought about paying for yourself after the total came up. So now it's up to you if you would like to go on a second date.

Normally I wouldn't do this, but I decided to respond honestly, hoping maybe Trent could learn a thing or two about dating. Since he's new to girls and all.

I wrote him, "No thank you. When a guy asks me out on a date but doesn't want to treat, it's a turn off for me. Even broke guys have refused to let me pay for myself.  Good luck on your search though and congratulations on passing your certification test!" I tried to leave things on a positive note- I'm not a bitch- but minutes later I already had a new message from him and he wasn't happy.

Wow. I thought you were different than the rest of the girls. That's good that we stopped it. Because I'm looking for an independent girl. Good luck on YOUR search.

Okay, first off, "we" stopped it?  No, that would be me who stopped it, because you're cheap.  Second- do you think independent women don't like chivalry? Do you think we want a guy who makes us pay for ourselves?  Or were you under the impression that independent women find men who complain about paying for their drink irresistibly sexy? I was trying to be nice, I was trying to give some constructive feedback, but his reply made me angry. Okay, the gloves are coming off.

"Well I'm sure the 'rest of the girls,' including the independent ones, will all agree that they don't want to date a cheap guy. Especially one who declares he was 'forced into' paying for a $4 drink."

Goodbye Ebenezer... and scrooge you.

A Controversial Comment

This is a comment that was meant for my "Clueless" post. I thought it was humorous. So instead of publishing it as a comment, I've decided to publish it as its own post! Perhaps some of you will have your own opinions on the subject.

Hi There,

I totally understand how this guy is coming off as needy and that is an absolute turn off. But here is my take on relationships and dating. I think preferences is a veil to cover up the deeper issues this society is infested it tied to race. People get away with absolute impunity by attributing their attraction buttons to preferences. But statistically a majority of the global population has a preference for caucasians. I understand why. Non caucasian women prefer them because they complain that their men do not treat them well and do not respect them well. But 21st century has seen a lot of changes. Despite that non-caucasian women try to lighten their skin or get double eyelid surgeries. So what could be the obsession with caucasian men? Well it is indeed their power and global dominance. This perception made the world think that blue eyes blonde hair is the symbol of power and beauty. Hence the preference. In other words when a non-caucasian woman claims to have a preference for caucasian men the unconscious reasoning is obvious as described in this post. Also it implies that they are self-hating i.e. hatred towards their own genetics, ancestry, parents and absolute zero collective self-esteem

My response to Yogami:

I'm caucasian.