The Jerk- Part 3

Hello Alicia! I don't think I would call you "about average" darling! I know I am over 31 but hey... how's a man to resist? How are you and how is your week going? By the time ya get this, the status shall be TGIF!!!

Have not logged on in a few days and I came across your profile... had to at least say hi before I venture off to the couch and wind down! I'm in your area often, which may explain why ya look so familiar?!

Care to meet up next week?

Juan Carlos

Well that was nice, but Juan Carlos is 14 years older than me so I don't think so.  Anyway, he'll understand.  After all, the first line in his message acknowledges the fact that he knows he's too old for me.  I sent Juan Carlos a polite, "No thanks." I'm sure he wasn't surprised... or not.

"Sorry but I prefer tall fit classy women! Good luck!" he writes.

Seriously, I am sick of this shit. These guys and their fragile egos. It's really pathetic. I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to accept that not everyone is going to like you.  That's life! It's why we're paying for this service!  Sure, it sucks when you get excited about someone and they don't share the same enthusiasm, but you shrug your shoulders and move on to the next page of matches.  Do you really have to be a jackass about it and talk shit about someone?  You are a grown man for crying out loud.  Get it together.  Girls hear this all the time, "You're going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."  Did men not get the same memo?  Am I the only one who knows that rejection is a part of dating?  What makes me angry isn't what they say, but the fact that they think it's okay to say anything mean just because you know it wouldn't work out.  I'm here for me, for number 1, to meet who I want with the qualities I need.  I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself or go on pity dates just so you won't send me a grumpy response.

I'm sick of these vindictive guys. Juan Carlos, you've made me angry... You won't like me when I'm angry. It's time to fight fire with fire. The gloves are off. An evil smile emerges as I begin to type Juan Carlos a lovely little reply.

"Good luck to you as well!" I start, "I'm pretty sure assholes don't have much success on this site. And normally tall girls like tall men. Perhaps if you wear heels?" Jerk.

What Just Happened?

Many months ago, there was a guy named Dexter who messaged me. He seemed like a nice guy, very polite, and we got to talking. After a couple of messages I asked him to tell a little about what he does for a living. Turns out, he was laid off earlier that day.  He told me that understandably, now was not a good time for him to start dating since he needed to focus on finding a new job.  Then Dexter left.

Several weeks ago Dexter found me again. He had a new job and was ready to give this a second try.  Since it had been a while since I talked to him, I needed some refreshers. Once again, after several messages he asked if I'd be interested in going out.

"I'm new to this and I've never really done this before. So let's take this slow. Did you want to grab coffee or a drink sometime? Something simple?  I'm new to this and I want to take things slow," explained Dexter.

Is Dexter some kind of pu**y? I don't know, something about that turned me off. "I'm new to this- I haven't done this before- let's take things slow" and repeat.  It just seemed like he lacked confidence. Guess what? Have you gone on A date before? Then you're not new to this.  Maybe Dexter is just a nice guy who's shy and cautious, but my expectations are low.   I feel like I should give him a pep talk: Don't worry Dexter, everything will be okay. Just be yourself!  Anyhow, I decided to stick it out.  Even if he sounds like a bit of a coward, he still seems like a genuinely nice guy and I do like nice guys.

He asked me to set up a date, place, time etc. so I did. I waited for confirmation of sorts. A day or two later he responded, although not in the way I anticipated.

"Hey Alicia, I'm sorry but the more I think about it, I don't think we're really all that compatible. You seem a lot more outgoing than me, and you probably want someone older and richer than I am. Anyways good luck with everything and have a nice life."

What just happened? And where did this age and money thing come from? haha I'm at a loss. All I can say is I guess Dexter is braver than I thought! Or he just chickened out.

Common Sense

Don't lie to me about something you know I'm going to find out sooner or later. You don't want my first impression to be that you're a liar.  Lying on a website designed to find dates and relationships is just plain stupid.

Example 1:

One guy had on his profile that he was a pharmacist. After talking with him, he said that he works at two or three different pharmacies.  This sounded like a guy who didn't have much free time on his hands, let alone time for a relationship.  Then he confessed, "Well, I'm not really a pharmacist yet.  I'm still in school and I haven't gotten my license yet." Yeah, being a student and being a pharmacist are two different things. That's why there's an option for "student" on the occupation section.  Studying to be a pharmacist is respectable. Pretending that you already are one is not.

Example 2:

Posting confusing pictures of yourself.  One guy winked at me but I had to reject him because I had no idea what he looked like!   Don't get me wrong, he had lots of photos, but they were always of the same group of friends over and over again.  He didn't have any photos of just himself.  I had no idea who he was amongst all these guys, which I guess was the point.  He didn't want people to know who he was.  He rather have them hope he was the best looking guy in the photo.  Instead, I assumed he was the worst looking guy in the photo.  Otherwise if he was okay with how he looked, he would have at least posted a couple of solo pics, right?

Example 3:

Posting old pictures of yourself.  Pictures of when you were thinner.   Much thinner.  I was supposed to meet a guy at a bowling alley.   I walked right past him because I didn't recognize him!  I only stopped because he called my name.  He was at least 30 pounds heavier than what his photos showed.   And I guess his pants were too big (maybe he used to weigh more!) because when he'd go to throw the ball, his butt crack would make an appearance. That's not sexy.  Come on guys! Wear a belt or something. You have to know that when it's your turn to bowl, all we can see is your ass, right?  Girls know that.  It's why we don't wear skirts when we bowl.  The guy was perfectly nice and we had fun, but it was a waste of a date because I wasn't attracted to him.  When I got home I checked his profile again to read his description of his body type. "About average" it said. Yeah. Only because America has an obesity epidemic.

Come on guys, what's the plan here? Are you hoping to lure us in with your witty conversation so by the time we meet you and the truth comes out, we'll be able to ignore the fact that you lied to us from the get-go? Lying from the start is a big red flag. I want someone I can trust, someone I can believe. Not a big fat liar, no pun intended. Use your common sense!