This one is about Jason. I had seen him on this site the last time I was registered but I didn't remember responding to him. Probably because he had tattoo sleeves. Even his username had "tattoos" in it. As someone who personally has no tattoos and finds them mildly unattractive, I was hesitant initially to date someone who is so in love with them. However, after over six months of being on this site AGAIN with no promising prospects, I have become more open minded as far as body art goes. I still can't get past nipple rings though... they kinda freak me out. Besides, his profile said he was a clean-cut guy with lots of tattoos. I'm wondering how can you be both clean-cut and have tattoo sleeves... isn't that an oxymoron?
I begin talking to James and he surprisingly seems to be a very very nice guy. He's friendly and funny and honest and he seems like a genuinely good guy. We talk about ourselves, we talk about our likes and dislikes, we talk about qualities and traits that are important to us in another person, and we talk about past relationships and why they haven't worked out. Strangely enough, we have broken up for the same exact reasons. A girl who couldn't provide him with the affection and intimacy he needed to be happy. A girl who was content with her job but not the least bit interested in a career. This guy is great! He's good looking, he's got a great smile, he knows what he wants, he's thinking about the future, he's a hopeless romantic (haven't had one of those before) and he has a sexy voice. For the first time in a long time I'm actually excited to go on a date! I want to *meet* this guy. And the feeling is mutual. He told me several times how excited he was to meet me, because he thought I was his dream girl. Our occasional emails were now daily texts. This was promising and I was hopeful.
James scheduled a lunch date on Saturday, warning me that for the next two weeks at work he was on-call, meaning that during our date he could get called back to work at any time. He assured me though that this was an infrequent occurrence. He gets called in maybe three times a week when he's on-call, so the chances that he'd get a page during our date was slim but worth mentioning anyway. Like a gentleman, he offers to pick me up for the date. Unfortunately on the drive over, he gets called back in. He apologizes and suggests meeting up afterwards if his call is short. That's fine with me, that gives me time to paint my nails.
A couple of hours go by, my nails are dry and fantastic and he texts me apologizing again but this call is going to be long. Maybe Sunday instead? Sunday rolls around, half the day goes by and I don't hear anything from James. Later in the evening I get another apology text. He's been working the whole day. Working in a hospital, I understand the concept of being on-call. I get it. No one likes to be called into work, but when you get the page, you don't have a choice. You have to show up. That's your job. But I'm still disappointed. I was looking forward to meeting him all week. I was smelling great, my hair was perfectly coiffed, nails red and glittery, high heels- the works. I was dressed to impress and this weekend of four potential dates has now dwindled down to a total of zero. I was bummed.
Then two or three days go by and I haven't heard from James. I wonder if he really blew me off on all those dates. He went from texting me everyday to nothing. I send him a text saying that if something's wrong or he lost interest, I'd appreciate a courtesy text instead of ignoring me. I get a text the next day saying there was a family emergency with his stepdad several hours away and in a rush to get to the hospital he left his phone at home and was unable to contact me. "I wanted to call you so bad," he said. "I like you a lot, I will never stop talking to you," he said. That made me smile.
We set up another date under the same circumstances- the chance of being called in. This time before I even have time to get ready he gets called in. "I swear to God it's never this busy!" We're both frustrated but still after each day I'm liking this guy more and more. I feel like we've been talking for months but it's really only been three weeks. At some other point I stop hearing from him again, I ask him about it and he confesses that he feels with all the date canceling he's done, he's already messed things up. I reassure him that I'm okay with his work schedule. I understand the concept of being on-call. I understand work can get crazy from time to time. I understand that it's out of his control. But I'm also very interested and if I wasn't, then I wouldn't still be talking with him. "You're right, I just feel so bad. I've been working here for six years and it's never been this busy. I already have 31 hours of overtime in a week and a half. I want to meet you so bad, I just felt like I was already in the hole."
He comes up with an idea, perhaps if we meet halfway, then even if he gets called into work he can at least spend a little time with me before having to leave. We decide to get coffee one evening. Again I get all fancy, I drive there, park, and as I'm walking to the coffee shop I get a phone call.
"Sweetheart?" he says.
"You got called didn't you?" I ask.
"Yes! I feel absolutely terrible! You have no idea how awful I feel. I'm so so sorry! I even bought you flowers." He takes a picture of a bouquet of roses sitting on his passenger seat and sends them to me. "Send me a picture of you so I know what I'm missing. I bet you look beautiful." I walk back to my car bummed. Again. I go home and I take a couple of pictures send some and post the rest on the dating site.
The next day he texts me again, still apologizing for last night. He asked me what I did today and without really thinking I mention posting new pictures online. He sounds hurt and at the moment I'm a little confused as to why. We haven't even gone out yet and he's posted ten or so new pictures of himself since we started talking anyway.
"It's not a big deal, you just don't need to go out of your way to say it. And I posted those pictures before we started talking everyday."
I apologize for hurting his feelings, we continue talking and decide that it would be best to set up a date sometime after his on-call period ends. Which won't be for another week and a half.
"What are you doing that weekend?" I ask.
"I might have a wedding to go on Saturday, but if not, then I'm spending the whole weekend with you," he smiles. Sounds like a plan. The texting trails off, we each get sleepy and go to bed.
A couple of days pass without a text from him. I remember the time of the family emergency, another time he left his phone at work, and I don't think anything of it. So I send him a text here and there saying I hope he has a good day or something along those lines. After three days with no response I decide to stop texting and wait for him. Another three days go by. I'm nervous and confused. I send him another text.
"Hey there. I don't know if something's changed and you're not interested anymore. I'm not sure if this is about my stupid comment about posting pictures or not. If that's what this is about then I'd hope you could be as understanding as I have been. In either case, if I don't hear from you I wish you the best of luck and I truly enjoyed talking with you." Days go by and deep down I still hope that I'll get some crazy text about how he lost his phone or something, but he's actively using the dating site and Facebook during this time so I knew he's #1 alive and #2 able to contact me if he wanted. The weekend approaches and Saturday morning I still haven't heard from him. I sadly delete him from my friends list and give up on ever meeting this seemingly perfect tattooed version of what I want.
I still don't know what happened. Was my brain fart comment about posting pictures really the cause? And if it was, was it really that bad? I don't know, maybe somewhere on here a guy is posting about his bad dates and there's an entry about a girl who told him that she was updating her profile and all these people are commenting how stupid she was. I have no idea. But in this situation, I think I deserved a little forgiveness. After all, James flaked on me four times and not once did I give him a bad time about it. Especially since he sited that it was a problem for girls in the past. Even though I was disappointed, I was supportive and understanding because he seemed just as disappointed as I was. Is it so wrong for me to think that I deserved some slack for a thoughtless comment? Maybe it is. But just like dandruff, all I can do now is wash this flake right outta my hair.
