Dos Equis

"We should grab dinner next week. Let me know if you're interested." That message was sitting in my inbox from a 30 year old man I had never talked to before. He's straightforward I guess.

I responded with, "I like to get to know someone a little better before I actually meet them. That way I don't feel like I'm going out with a complete stranger. Tell me a little about yourself."

His reply sounded more like a resume or some kind of job application than anything else, which was fitting since his profile picture was a headshot of him in a business suit.

He proceeded to list what college he went to, his major, his degree, the various jobs he's had, his current job, and how much money he makes. He told me that his goal was to own multiple shopping malls so he could golf all day and not have to work.  There was nothing written to give me any insight as to what kind of person he was.  It was all very impersonal.  I felt like I was conducting a job interview instead of getting to know him.  Strange... But here's the kicker- he ends it with a link and writes, "This is a picture of whom I believe is my biological father."

I click on the link. A picture of the Dos Equis beer guy pops up. What? That has to be a joke, right?  But the whole message was so dry and serious.  That link totally came out of left field. Either I don't get his sense of humor or he's serious... and maybe nuts.  I investigate.

I write him back with something along the lines of, "haha Are you serious? The Dos Equis guy?"

His response: I'm glad you liked the picture of my father.

Yeah, that didn't help. No smiley face, no wink, no "lol" or "haha." Nothing... I was still left thinking- is this guy for real? He was creeping me out!

Well, the nice thing about this dating site is they have, what I call, pre-made reject letters.  If someone writes you a message and you're not into them, you can choose between 3 pre-made reject letters.  This guy was definitely getting one.

I choose the one that starts, "Thanks, but unfortunately we're not a good match because of..." Then there's a list of reasons and you can check the box by the reason that applies.  I check the box that says "personality." I certainly didn't get his sense of humor so I know our personalities would clash.  Goodbye Dos Equis guy!

Or so I thought...

Clearly he was offended, because he sent me his own pre-made reject letter. His read, "Thanks, but unfortunately we're not a good match because of personality and physical attraction."

Seriously? Physical attraction? He's the one who messaged me! He can't say physical attraction when he made a pass at me! Oh my gosh. You are 30 years old. You're not 12. Wow. Can you imagine what it would be like to break up with this guy?  All I did was turn down a date.  Good call on that reject letter.  Weirdo.